First blog post

This very first post was based on life with a four year old mostly, ¬†but also…

Psalm 25:9 “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way”.

If we can somehow treat our littlest companions with respect and kindness on our worst days, that is something worth fighting for. Worth striving for in this journey of life and parenthood.



Happy anniversary hun

Here’s to the past few years.  Marriage is not the easiest but certainly the most rewarding adventure we’ll ever have.  Thank you Lord for your favour and blessing on our family. Thank you hubby for being my ally and best friend ūüíú

Cast your cares 

Have a happy Sunday folks. Cast your cares on the maker of the heavens and earth for He cares for you. 
#capetown #playingoutside #freshair #blessedwoman #thankfulheart

Mind yourself while I morph

Ever watched Power Rangers and see them morph into their black, blue, yellow, pink and red alter egos. Or transformers when they turn from a truck, car, helicopter, to a giant walking, talking alien robot. Ever feel like you’re about to morph yourself? I think we are morphing all the time. I think I am morphing right now. I really do.

I am morphing from a divorced, selfish single mom, fighting to make ends meet. Battling loss, guilt, loneliness and failure. Into an organised, patient, loving, tolerant and supportive wife and mommy.

I am morphing from a stressed out, over worked, under appreciated, under paid, tired, slave to the rat race. Into a business plan writer, an owner, independent thinker, freelancer, an entrepreneur. I am an “ideas” person.

I am changing from the girl who is one dimensional, a second guesser, scared of disappointment, fearful of failure and bound by broken pieces, to an explorer, a world traveller. In walks a go getter, innovator.

And lastly, but by no means least. I am changing from one who loves words to a wordsmith, from an avid reader to a writing dreamer. From a doubting Thomas to a firm believer. Your dreams give you wings. Purpose brings light. I leverage the lingo. I morph tonight.

67 Minutes for Madiba

Had you not lived
Where would we be
As a county, as a nation
When will we see?
It was a long walk to freedom
You fought for the rights
We now take for granted
We’ve lost from our sights

So humble, so powerful
Like a lion, you led
We disregard the sacrifice
Put the past to bed
67 minutes we now have to give
To remember you
For this beautiful unity
This legacy, this gift
Because of your battle,
A rainbow nation now lives

Today let us reflect
May we unite
Let us stand together
Continue to fight
Not in the difference or injustice still rife Not in violence, not with the strife
In humility, in unity
As one we stand
We love you Tata
We love this land

( Photo credit: Facebook)

Happy birthday momma ūüė欆

Happy birthday to the one who taught me how to be a mommy. The one who loves relentlessly, teaches diligently, advises wisely, supports faithfully and prays ceaselessly. Enjoy your special day,  special one ūüíĖ

The F word…

Today I am keeping it short because I am on a quest. Like a knight or Christopher Columbus. I am an adventurer. Taking the path less traveled.  I am chasing a dream,  and let me tell you, some days are downright scary.
The problem is though, that as daunting as the unknown is, the vision is real. It exists, ¬†albeit only in my mind’s eye. It’s as real as the pages of a book or the faces of my kids. So what do I do. ¬†Do I stuff it down and try to swallow it with a big gulp and get back to reality. A reality which dictates that A and B is followed by C. That 1 + 1 =2. What if after B comes F? What if I simply cannot accept that this is it. There has to be more.
The bible says that ¬†“Faith is the ¬†substance of things hoped for. ¬†The evidence of things not seen”
What do you do when this “F”word keeps messing with your current reality? ¬†If this ¬†faith is eating you whole and swallowing you alive, like Jonah in the belly of the whale. It will not be denied. You cannot escape. You face it right? Head on. You say, okay faith, I have my big girl boots on. What is up with you. I am going at it. I am going all the way. ¬†I am determined to know the mind of my Maker. I am desperate to know the heart of my Father. No wonder they call it “the good fight of faith”. The hustle is real. Between who I was and who I am. ¬†Between what I do and what I want to do.
So, on my quest there are certain clues, cues and milestones. There are certain dos and don’ts. There are ifs and buts, what ifs and maybes.
There is a rule book, don’t get me wrong. God has left us the road map, the Bible and a GPS, the Holy Spirit. ¬†But do we open the pages and seek to find Him with everything we’ve got. To find the path of life. ¬†Or do we become bogged down by work, family, finances and even church, and miss the plot completely. Do you say, I will give my life to God some day, or God understands me. He knows I’m not ready. Do you cop out?
See, in order to begin a journey you start at the beginning right?  So, in the beginning was the word and the word was God and God became flesh and dwelt amongst us. Wowzer!   Born of a virgin, walked on water, died and came back to life.  All the makings of an incredible fairy tale.  When the fairy tale becomes your reality.  When you believe every word. When you get a taste of the joy,  peace, love, hope, restoration, healing. How do you walk away. How do you return to the grind, revert to the rat race. I am afraid to report that I cannot. Hence, I am on this quest.
I have decided to follow Jesus and there is simply no turning back.

The “in-betweeners” (5 things you can do today to create the marriage you love)

I am calling us the in betweeners!  We are somehow in-between.  We are passed the honey moon, googly eyes, goose bumps, can’t wait to see each other, and can’t keep our hands off one another phase.  Yet, we are not at the married for 25 years, renewing our vows, super in tune, reading one another’s minds and anticipating unspoken needs. We are somewhere in between. 

We are starting a business, while employed by soul-crushing, unreasonable dictators. We are changing nappies, fighting about who’s going to wash the dishes, arguing about who is the worse driver, and who’s mother we owe an overdue visit to more. We are struggling to make ends meet, juggling multiple commitments. Most days the romance is faded. It’s “take your kids and leave me alone” moments more often than I would like to admit.  Some days you want to run away.  Luckily these days are scarce. But the truth is, these days exist.  And they feel really bad. 

For some reason I have this expectation that marriage could be heaven on earth. In the back of my mind this is a thought that is just stuck there.  I heard it somewhere and I believe it. This is ordained by God. Marriage is His idea after all. Yet all around us,  couples are battling to “leave and cleave”.  All the outside influences and inside pressures can take a toll. It can take away from the joy filled, hopeful, power-couple you start off as.

I have come up with five things that you can do today to create the married life you dream of; 

1. Call him what you want him to be 

At a point when I had a hard time finding anything sweet or lovely about the man I married,  I started calling him these two very intentional names ; “honey and sweetie”. At the time,  this seemed  counter intuitive. It felt downright odd. However, over the course of a few weeks, he started acting strangely sweet.  He became oddly thoughtful. He began to anticipate what I needed in order to get a smile out of me. He was determined to live up to the name, “sweetie”. 

2. Make your needs known

As obvious as you might think it is that you need help.  That you need to take a bath or even a nap, that you cannot get to all the cooking, cleaning, work, ministry, studying, household chores, after school activities and homework in the 24 hours you’ve been given, you will still have to “spell-it-out”.  Tell your husband exactly what you need him to do. Be it do the dishes, bath the girls, check homework, buy take aways, or read bedtime stories so that you can answer emails. Be specific. Verbalize it.

3. Support his vision and dreams

As wives we are called helpers. That’s what the Bible calls us. If you have a “strong personality” or low tolerance for the “work in progress”, it’s easier said than done.  But having your husband’s back is a awesome principle to start implementing immediately.  Whether he dreams of playing music full time, starting his own business, preaching, writing a book. Be his chearleader. Be his safe place. Work together towards making these things a reality. 

4. Get a life 

Literally, please, get a life. Find what interests you. What is your purpose.  What makes you feel fulfilled and pursue it. What can you be excited to get out of bed and do every day.  You can not be a good “better half” if you have nothing going for you.  The reason this is so important to me is because I was literally the most boring person I knew. In case you didn’t know,  if you have nothing to do and nowhere to go, you are tremendously draining and needy. As the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

5. Prayer, prayer and more prayer 

Soak your husband in prayer.  Pray for your kids. Pray for your marriage. Bring your marriage before God daily. In fact, do it more than twice a day.  Do it as often as it comes to mind.  This way, you invite God into your marriage.  Allow Him to be a part of what you are building and give Him unrestricted access. Complain about your husband to God. Instead of talking about the problem to outsiders, talk to God, who is the only one with the power to change your husband and even your own heart and broken places, from the inside out. 

Remember, you are not alone. Being a wife or husband and a parent is not as easy as it looks from the outside looking in.

I hope these five tips help you on your journey to creating the marriage of your dreams.  

I cannot adult today…

Because being a mommy is hard. Because breastfeeding, cleaning, cooking, shopping, growing your own vegetables, teaching, “wife-ing”, building a business and finding time to pursue a relationship with God is exhausting. Some days I need to just play in the sand. And so should you.ūüíú

I simply cannot adult today.

To home school or not to home school, that is the question…

To home school or not to home school, that is the question…

After taking the leap from full time employee to full time mom, the question now begs. If we are doing this, really doing this, why not do it all the way? Go big or stay home! If I am spending all this time teaching and training the kids, twenty four – seven, three sixty five, why not ‘teach the kids’?

Is home schooling realistically something we could do? Am I a teacher? Will the girls be missing out on important developmental milestones and social skills spending all their time with me…Do I have the discipline to wake my babies, feed them a healthy breakfast and teach them maths and science?! As with any big decision, best practice is to make a list of the pros and cons, research the project at hand and do your due diligence.

I know a mom or two who home schools. They are successful business woman, they teach the kids, cook, clean and manage to meet all their husband’s needs. These superwoman are out there, they are real. But am I a superwoman? Is this something I could realistically do and do well…

My teenage son’s initial reaction to this out of this world idea of mine was, no ways, you are not turning my sisters into little weirdos! Clearly, he’s charming. But the truth is the negative feedback is plenty and if you look you will find it.

However, I have also found, that there are support groups for home schooling families and many a Facebook in your very home town. These families meet the need for socialising, networking and support needed in order to make a success of the home schooling journey. They also have athletics and choir, meaning that neither the competitive nor the creative nature of my kids need to be stifled due to the lack of ‘traditional’ schooling.

Government websites as well as book shops offer various downloadable and hard copy curriculums to facilitate your teaching. The idea of the kids studying and learning wherever we are frees us up to travel and be adventurers. It allows us to take the path less travelled. It let’s us become brave explorers.

So, is the journey daunting, yes. Is it scary, hell yes. Is it going to be worth it? Without a doubt, absolutely, yes. Is it for everyone? Sadly, no.

The truth is though, the years fly by so quickly and before you realize it, the kids are all grown up and ordering an Uber to take them to the movies, bowling, and swimming galas at the neighbouring school.¬† You become less and less needed. I want to cherish every second. Be present for every outing. See, and experience first-hand, every new learning opportunity. I want to be that hands on. I¬† am willing to dare because my kids are worth all the sacrifice it’s going to take. I want to be that mom.

We certainly cannot raise extra ordinary kids by doing the ordinary.

Best of luck on your mothering adventure.